When I can't sleep
by prettylittlefans1
Summary: When I can't sleep I think of you and all the things you give to me. Ezria memories. Please read and review, one shot.


**Hi everyone, I've been really busy with school. I'm writing whenever I can so there'll only be one shots for the time being I might do a short multi chapter over Christmas vacation. So enjoy the story and please read and review and always feel free to message me I love to hear from you all. -Elle**

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Why is it that when you can't sleep you're mind seems to wonder off into a place or time you had almost completely forgotten. Like the time when you were younger and you would spend hours in front of the fire, a mug of hot chocolate with tiny marshmallows and whipped cream on top by your side, as you read your way through a stack of books. Or the time at school when you'd been sat alone lost in a book when the most popular girl in school decided to make you one of her clique. The time when that girl who had seemed so perfect and so put together had disappeared in the middle of the night, no that was something that firmly planted in my mind and something I would never forget. But the one thing my mind wonders to when I can't sleep these days is him.

His blue eyes, his brown hair, his smile that is so bright it can stop any argument. The way he always knows what to say and when he doesn't he knows just what I need even if I don't. He doesn't care about my mistake and I seem to have a never-ending list of them. I think about when we first met how I would have spoken to him about anything as we sat at that bar, just so I could hear that voice. His voice was like velvet so smooth. When he'd first grabbed my hand and pulled me into the bathroom I had followed blindly. When his lips had instantly hit mine I pulled him closer tasting the warmth on his lips that came from the scotch on his breath. His hands felt like the safest place as he held me close to him.

The way I had felt as if the world had truly played a sick joke on me when I looked up and saw him for the second time. He was stood at the board of my English class writing his name out. Introducing himself as my teacher, he had looked so panicked when he saw me. I felt as if my guilt might spill out when I saw him, I almost ran out of the classroom when my phone had chimed. Funny just before class I'd been looking at a text he'd sent me, but now there was a very different kind of message. The kind of message that told me someone knew what I'd done. Someone knew what we'd done and that someone wasn't going to let it go.

How rejected I'd felt when I was walking through the rain, my shoes filling up with water as I tried to shield my coffee cup from the rain. He'd told me we couldn't continue and we had to put a stop to our relationship before it had even begun. He told me I was amazing and that I was everything he wanted. But I wasn't everything he wanted because if I were then he wouldn't have ended things. I knew where he was coming from but it didn't make the pain any less great. It was as I was walking through the pouring rain that I saw him. He was in his car driving past and when he saw me he looked so hurt. I'd looked back at him with the same amount of hurt in my eyes as I felt the longing that came from my heart to be near to him. He'd pulled away but ended up slowly down. I'd raced forward as he sprung the door open, I'd looked around first just to be sure no one was watching, then I'd jumped in before he could change his mind. He drove forward into a small alley before we'd both leaped forward attaching our lips to one another. It was at that moment we knew there was no going back and no denying. I loved him and it wasn't going to be easy to let that love be nurtured.

The first time we were caught it was by my jealous ex. He thought he could get a higher grade out of what he knew. But someone was on our side because he never got the chance to go through with his threats before he was suspended for cheating (ok so I may no who was responsible for that). Then it was his jealous ex she wanted me out of the way and she had every intention of telling my parents about us. We beat her to it though and consequently my brother technically beat him for it.

Too say my parents were unhappy would be an understatement. My dad did everything in his power to get him transferred to another state and when he refused, my dad made sure he no longer had a job. We snuck around for a while we didn't care. I had a friend with his own secret who covered for me and I him. I didn't think he would come at first but I'd left him a message asking him to give us another shot. I should've known he would come, despite the rain and the icy air he came. He held me in his arms and he warmed me with his kiss, he didn't care how wet we got. The only thing that mattered to either of us was the here and now. The only people that mattered were each other.

We had eventually broken up the strain of sneaking around had just become too much for either of us to bare the weight of. He'd ended up coming back to my school and back to being my teacher. He needed this job and I wasn't going to ruin it. I told him that he needed to take the job and we'd both agreed that one day we might end up together again. I'd even gone and found myself another boyfriend. His name was Jake and he was sweet, he clearly cared about me, he may even have loved me, but to me he was probably just a distraction. I liked Jake but I didn't love him and I doubted whether I ever would.

I hadn't even broken up with Jake before I was back in his arms again. Jake had been away and so there was nothing to distract me from him. I'd told Jake as soon as he got back that couldn't be with him. I felt awful about the whole thing, Jake was a great guy but he wasn't him. He'd whisked me away to a little cabin in the woods and we'd resumed our old habits of sneaking around. I didn't care though, I would rather spend my whole life sneaking around with him, then spend even a day with someone who's hand I could hold in the street without getting a dirty look.

When I can't sleep I think of him. I think of all of ups and all our downs. Every kiss, every touch, and every heartbeat I've spent with him and every heartbeat I will go on to spend with him. When I do drift off I dream of our future and our past. He is my one and only, he is my dream come true.


End file.
